I am fed up with high-priced restaurants that don't deliver!

The final straw was a recent dining experience at Babbo, Mario Batali's well-known flagship Italian restaurant in New York City.

	Doing dinner John F. Carafoli offers a few things to remember when dining out: A pleasant, polite and calm approach goes a long way toward ensuring an enjoyable dining experience. A courteous but firm request to rectify a situation is usually all it takes. Conversely, attitude often is countered with attitude. Establish the right tone for the interaction and you'll likely be rewarded with a smile and good service. Remember that the host, wait person, bartender and chef are there to serve you, not the other way around. You are paying the bill and should get what you want. But keep in mind that their jobs are often stressful and demanding. They appreciate courtesy and respect as much as you do. Feel comfortable at the table where you are seated. If you prefer another table, ask for the one you would like (preferably before you are seated, unfurl the napkin, and begin eating the bread.) As you peruse the menu, talk with the wait person about the items listed, asking questions until you feel satisfied you will be getting what you want. Ask for detailed descriptions of specials, including prices (a detail often overlooked by wait staff.) Consider splitting a course, or even a series of them. This works well when dishes are large or it is your first visit and you'd like a sense of how the food is prepared and what the chef is trying to do with the menu. Splitting portions can also mitigate somewhat the high cost of dining out. (There should not be a charge for sharing courses, although some restaurants do try. If that is the case, summon the maitre d' or head waiter and ask politely that the charge be waived.) Don't hesitate to be honest and direct when asked if everything is to your liking. Most restaurants want you to be satisfied, and will rectify a situation when they know about it. Don't be afraid to send food back if it is not cooked to your liking or is not what the menu describes. Dishes should not be cleared from the table until everyone is finished. If a server begins clearing before you or your dining companions have finished, ask politely that the table be cleared after all are done eating. When the food or service is exceptional, compliment the chef, the wait staff and anyone else who helped make your dining experience enjoyable and memorable. In addition to being good manners, it also is good business, helping to establish cordial long-term relationships with restaurants you like.

I had dined there many years ago when the restaurant first opened, before Batali had become a big-name chef. Two friends and I enjoyed superb food and a memorable dining experience that evening, and on the way out we were able to compliment Batali himself, who was standing at the end of the bar.

Not this time!

Looking forward to a great setting and some authentic Italian food, I called the restaurant several times for a reservation, but with no luck. Finally, one Monday evening I was told with complete indifference that there was one slot available - at 11 p.m. Since we enjoy eating at a bar, and no reservations were taken for bar dining, we decided to take our chances.

We hopped into a cab and arrived just as the restaurant opened at 5:30, scoring two seats at the bar, which was filling fast. In fact the entire place was packed - too packed. As he served our drinks, the bar waiter asked if we were ready to order.

A bit surprised, I told him we were hoping to savor our drinks for a few moments, but would order an appetizer to start. ''Well, I need to take the whole order now,'' he retorted.

Feeling rushed, I ordered an appetizer of marinated fresh anchovies with watermelon relishes and lobster oil, and my dining partner selected a roasted beet salad. For the second course we chose to split an order of goose liver ravioli with balsamic vinegar and brown butter. Our third course was to be one of the night's specials, an order of sweet breads.

My first course arrived too soon, and was too slight. An oversized plate contained a small mound of watermelon relishes clustered in the center, with six anchovies spiraling outward.

At the tip of each anchovy was a minuscule pile of seasoned bread crumbs. In between the anchovies were dots of lobster oil. It could not have been more precious. When the pasta course arrived, it confirmed our disappointment. Three raviolis were stranded in the middle of a large plate, swimming in a rich black balsamic and brown butter sauce.

Good, but overly rich and complicated. Sadly, the food had devolved from authentic Italian cuisine to flashy compositions aimed at making an impression, not providing taste and substance.

By this time we had concluded that the rest of the meal was going to disappoint. When the bar waiter brought two glasses for the Vin Santo, I held my hand over the glass and said politely, ''We would like to cancel the rest of our order, and will take the check when you get a chance.'' He didn't question why - he simply removed the glasses without comment. When the bill came, I explained how disappointed we were, adding that it is not the kind of food Mario is preaching about and praising in his books and on TV. But our waiter really didn't care. We paid the $120 bill and left, lamenting the show-biz turn in what had been a wonderful and authentic restaurant.

Another example, this one closer to home, occurred in a well-known restaurant in Hyannis. A friend and I decided to have lunch there one warm, cloudy, rainy day at the beginning of summer a couple of years ago. (I've always called this kind of day a ''martini day.'') The restaurant was not crowded, so we were seated quickly and did in fact order a martini.

After scanning the menu, I ordered the curried chicken salad. When it arrived, I took one bite and realized it was turkey, not chicken. The chunks were too big and it had the gamier taste of turkey. When I asked the waitress about the discrepancy, she adamantly refused to consider my point, insisting that the salad was made of chicken. After trying and failing several times to persuade me, she added that she was so sure that she was right that she would ask the chef, and if she was wrong, she would give me a martini.

She returned along with the chef, who sheepishly acknowledged the salad that day was indeed made with turkey. I got my martini, but the experience left a bad taste.

Why do restaurants pull these sleights-of-hand - because it is convenient, or cost-effective, or they think that diners won't notice or care? Menus are meant to inform people of each dish's ingredients, and to create a visual picture of the food so there are no unpleasant surprises.

In many cases, menu descriptions tend to confuse rather than enlighten. My latest pet peeve was an entrée described as ''Oven-Roasted Four Story Hill Farm Lamb Rack.'' What was four-story about it? Another that obscured rather than clarifying was ''Grilled Wolfe's Neck Farm Sirloin,'' topped with ''Ben's Maitake Mushroom and Cabernet Sauvignon (sauce).'' Does the average diner know what ''Four-Story Hill Farm,'' ''Wolfe's Neck Sirloin'' and ''Bens Maitake Mushroom'' refer to? It is commendable that chefs are selecting high-quality products and naming their sources, but they have a responsibility to clarify the significance of their purveyors. Perhaps a brief mention of noteworthy food or ingredient suppliers somewhere on the menu would be helpful. One cannot leave it up to the customer to ask, because most won't. Intimidated, diners frequently come away confused rather than enlightened.

Likewise, too many ingredients in a dish may put off rather than tempt. How about this dessert: ''Composition of Strawberries - milkshake, vanilla panna cotta with strawberry-basil-balsamic compote and mini soufflé.'' Is this one dessert or four? All sound good, but I'd like to know just what it is I'm ordering.

In researching this article, I reviewed several menus for some standouts with respect to clarity. Brewster Fish House Restaurant gets high marks. Its menu describes clearly, succinctly and temptingly what will show up on your plate. Pan-Roasted Free Range Chicken, Mascarpone Potato Puree, Haricot Verts, Smoked Bacon, and Wild Mushrooms provide a clear and delicious picture of one entrée. In addition to providing a great menu, the restaurant offers some of the best food on the Cape. Another winner is Restaurant 902 Main in Yarmouth. Its menu descriptions are clean, clear and concise, and the is food excellent. Yet another is The Nauset Beach Club, with entrées written in Italian accompanied by a full, clear English translation below each item describing ingredients, and, in many cases, the way in which the dish is prepared.

When dining out, it is important to ask questions to ensure you understand what you are ordering, and to feel satisfied that you have received what you asked for. Eating out is costly these days, and you are entitled to a delicious and memorable meal for your money.

(Published: July 6, 2005)